A Day in the Life
by FeelTheWind
Summary: What does the Organization do on holidays or ordinary days? extreme randomness, slight yaoi, language, and characters aren't in character. you have been warned. CHAPTER 4 UP!
1. An Ordinary Day

A Day in the Life

This is just a bunch of randomness. A lot of the characters aren't in... character. I hope some of you find it funny... others of you might think it is really stupid because **it is.** I wasn't trying to write good, so it is definitely my worst-written fan fiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own kingdom hearts

An Ordinary Day

"Ooooh! oooh! i have an idea!" Demyx said excitedly as he starting bouncing up and down.

Demyx was saying that over and over for 5 minutes while everyone ignored him. It was a boring day. They didn't have anything to do and were trying to come up with something. Larxene, as usual was the first to crack from the boy annoying-ness.

"Ok, if we ask what it is, will you shut up?" Larxene shouted, really annoyed.

"Hmmmm..." Demyx said, looking deep in thought. "Uh...hm... weeeeeeellll... uh...ah...oh...gghhhhaaaaa...hm..."

"Oh my god! You aren't supposed to think about it asswipe!" Larxene screeched, lunging at the weird mullet/spiky haired boy, only to be held back by Axel. "LET ME GO!" She screamed trying to claw herself free from Axel's grip. "I WANT TO CLAW HIS EYES OUT WITH A SPORK!"

"Calm down now, Larxene... wait, did you just say a spork?" Axel asked.

"You heard what I said damn it! now let me GO!" Larxene then pulled a spork out of the pocket of her robe and proceeded to scratching Axel's arms with it.

"Ouch! That does hurt!" Axel said, starting to get mad as he looked at the scratch marks on his arms. "Fine bitch! But, before I let you go-" Axel swiftly swiped the spork from Larxene's hands and snapped it into several pieces.

"You broke my spork!" Larxene gasped.. She started sobbing. She saw people die and she laughed. But when you break her spork... now that's a whole new territory there. "It was like a son to me!" she wailed.

"Ok, anyway, what was that idea of yours Demyx?" Axel yelled over Larxene's screeches.

"Lets have a scavenger hunt!" Demyx said happily.

The Organization members exchanged glances. That actually wasn't that bad of an idea. They started ignoring Demyx's ideas because he kept suggesting "Spin the bottle" and "Truth or Dare", and all the organization members knew he just wanted to make-out with them. But a scavenger hunt... that actually sounded like fun. Even Axel and Zexion agreed it was.

"Ok, yeah, that sounds like the shiznet!" Vexen said excitedly.

Everyone stared at Vexen.

"Uh... yeah boi!" Vexen said as he tried pulling off a gangsta pose. Even though Vexen was the oldest member, he was the one that tried acting cool. You could call it a mid-life crises. Recently he was going through his "gangsta phase". Bling bling and grillz included. Although, Demyx did have to admit that it took away some of the tackiness of their robes.

"Okaaaaaaay... anyway, let's have a scavenger hunt!" Axel said, starting to get excited about it.

"Um... yeah... but just to clear this up, nobody's body parts are going to be included in this scavenger hunt." Zexion said fiercely, glaring at Demyx. He knew that Demyx had had a crush on him for a while now.

"Fine." Demyx sighed, some of his excitedness fading.

They then made up a list of things to find. The list consisted of: chicken nuggets, a stuffed animal, a spork (unbroken), a pair of under-roos, a sombrero, and other miscellaneous items. They then set off to find the objects, doing an every-man-for-himself scavenger hunt, while Larxene sat there crying and cursing Axel while trying to put her spork back together.

Author's Note: ok... yeah that was random. Please tell me if I should continue or if I should just ditch it. I was gonna write the scavenger hunt but I thought that would be boring... so yeah. What I'm gonna do is have each chapter be a different day. Like, this one is "an ordinary day" and then I'll have holidays and stuff like that. Please review! and tell me if its funny enough or if I should try to make it funnier :D


	2. Bored Again

Thanks to all you lovely people that reviewed! I'm glad you like the story so far!

Well, my friend begged me to write a sequel to Ch. 1 so you guys could find out who won the scavenger hunt, so here it is! (and by sequel, I mean a continuation of the same day from Ch. 1)

So, here's what happened after the scavenger hunt! (Its still the same day)

* * *

Bored Again

Demyx won the scavenger hunt. Because not everyone knew, but Demyx kept a stash of chicken nuggets, stuffed animals, sombreros, sporks, pairs of under-roos, and a whole lot of other useless shit in his sock drawer. He called it his "secret" drawer and he never told anybody about it. And he would especially never tell Larxene. If she found out about it, Demyx would be spork-less and all his stuffed animals would have had their eyes clawed out with said sporks.

"Damn it, that went too fast," Axel said poutingly. "Now we need something else to do."

"We could always play spin the bottle..." Demyx said in an annoying sing-song voice.

"NO!" everyone shouted at the same time.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I need to go water my flower garden," the pink-haired-flower-obsessed-pansy-man-with-a-girlish-figure-girlish-name-and-girlish-hair AKA Marluxia said. "The last time I stuck around waiting for you guys to decide what to do, my poor wittle flowers wilted..." he pouted stroking the flowers he recently added to his dyed-pink-robe to match his hair and pink roses that adorned the robe. "Yes you did, didnt you? Oh, but daddy saved yous! yes he dids! oh yes... a goo goo gah gah..." The pink-haired-flower-obsessed-pansy-man-with-a-girlish-figure-girlish-name-and-girlish-hair said in a baby-like tone as he walked off to water his garden.

"Yeah, and I have some hustling- I mean gambling to go do on the internet," Luxord added, heading off into the computer room. "Haha, I hope that 11 year old got a hold of his parents credit cards again..." he mumbled to himself as he rubbed his hands together mischievously.

"...And... Uh... I gotsa go... ughhh..." the large-muscley man said as he contorted his face, straining to find the right word. "...potty!" the big oaf said with a smile as he remembered what he wanted to say. He then started walking toward Larxene's room, mistaking it for the bathroom due to his stupidity. Larxene, seeing that he was headed toward her room, frantically ran over and jumped in front of Lexaeus and the door, brandishing her fixed, duct-taped spork that Axel had broke earlier that day.

"This ain't the bathroom, dumbass! Take one step closer and you'll be feeling the wrath of my spork!" Larxene shouted at the man as he just stood there with a blank, unblinking look on his face.

"Ughhhh..." he drooled as he turned around and started wandering aimlessly around the castle, forgetting that he had to go to the bathroom.

"Xemnas, why did you let that dumb bitch in the Organization? I don't even think he's capable of wiping his own ass," Larxene smirked as she watched the big-muscley man try to shove a shoelace into an electrical socket. "Look, he can't even electrocute himself properly," she continued, looking at him with a disgusted look on her face. "You just wanted him for his body, didn't you?"

"Um... well, Larxene, um... I can name more than 600 reasons why I let him into the organization!" Xemnas stammered, blushing slightly.

"Yeah, all of his muscles," Larxene smirked, catching Xemnas off guard.

_Damn it! I didn't know that she knew that I didn't know that she knew the amount of muscles in the human body! _Xemnas thought to himself angrily.

"I gotta go," Xemnas muttered as the weird looking, too-tanned-skin-for-his-silver-hair-man stalked off to his room. Probably to go sulk in his tanning bed, which he did regularly. That's why he was so tan. "Who does that bitch think she is..." he muttered angrily to himself on his way.

"Yep, and I have some take-over-the-world plans to perfect," Saix said casually just so he could get away from everyone and go do something alone.

"Yo, the fizzle dizzle fo sho schnizzle ditzel fo sizzle," Vexen mumbled to everyone as he strutted to his room, doing a weird hand gesture that they took as a "goodnight". He then went up to his iced-out, pimped-out room and flipped on his stereo to pump out the jams and break dance.

So that left Xigbar, Xaldin, Zexion, Axel, Demyx, and Larxene with nothing to do because as everybody knows they have no lives.

"Fine, let's play truth or dare," the usually silent and moody Zexion said, kicking himself for saying that as soon as he saw Demyx's face light up. "BUT, only if Demyx promises he won't try making out with any of us."

_Damn, he's always PMS-ing._ Everybody thought, but shrugged in agreement to playing.

"Ok, ok. I promise. I won't try to make out with anyone. Let's just play," Demyx said.

So everybody sat down in a large circle in the middle of the floor.

"Can I go first?" Demyx asked. "After all, it WAS my idea..."

"Ok, fine, go ahead," Axel said, hoping he wouldn't be asked first.

"Ok... um...Xigbar!" Demyx said as his eyes landed on the old man with a ponytail and eyepatch. "Truth or dare."

"Um... dare..?" Xigbar said, wishing he would have left with Marluxia or Xemnas.

"Fine choice, my other girly-haired friend..." Demyx said smiling as he thought about what to dare the old man to do. "I dare you... to... show us what's under your eyepatch!"

Everyone was surprised by Demyx's dare. The entire organization had always been curious as to what he had under there...

Xigbar thought about begging Demyx to ask him a truth question instead, but then decided to just show them. He slowly reach up and took off his eyepatch to reveal... an eye. Everyone stared blankly at him.

"What the hell, Xigbar? Why do you wear an eyepatch? There's nothing there but a normal looking eye!" Axel said disappointingly.

"Oooh! Another eye I can claw out with my Beautiful Yet Evil Devious Death Spork of Doom (TM)" Larxene said as she excitedly pulled out a notepad and added another tally mark and chuckled evilly.

"Well, without it, I look as intimidating as Demyx does," he said as he nodded his head to the weird mullet/spiky haired boy that was currently drumming his fingers on the floor, bobbing his head as he hummed old cheesy TV themes. "But with it-" he said as he turned around and put the eye patch on. "I look much more intimidating." He said as he turned around to face them all again, grinning evilly.

"Yeah, ok... what a waste..." Axel muttered. "Anyway, it's your turn to ask someone, Xigbar."

"Ok, I choose Xaldin" he said.

"Dare," the man with the strange sideburns said, hardly paying attention to them as he fiddled and twirled his dredlocks around his fingers.

Xigbar smirked. "I dare you to shave your head and your freaky-ass sideburns!"

Xaldin stared at him in horror. "B-but... I can't! You know I love them!" he said as he stroked his hair.

"Too bad, Xaldin, you said dare!" Demyx said in his annoying sing-song voice again.

"Fine. I hate you all. Go get me a razor, you pony-tailed bastard," Xaldin sneered, glaring at Xigbar with his Squinty-eyed-trying-way-too-hard-to-look-intimidating-death-glare (TM).

"Booyah!" Xigbar yelled as he ran to the bathroom and got a razor, scissors, a small mirror, and some shaving cream and returned with a satisfied look on his face.Everybody was surprised that he could move that fast for an old man on foot and not in a wheelchair.

Xaldin then cut off all his dredlocks, shaved his head, and shaved his sideburns. He was in tears by the time he was done, but not because of the numerous nicks and cuts on his head, but because his head now looked worse than Demyx's.

"Damn, Xaldin. No wonder you loved your hair- look how lumpy your head is! It looks like a fricken bowl of oatmeal!" Axel taunted, rolling on the floor clutching his sides from laughing.

"Ok, it's MY turn now," the lumpy headed weirdo said menacingly. He was going to dare Larxene because he always hated her and her sporks, but then after Axel's outburst he wanted to dare him. Just then, he thought of a brilliant dare that could allow him to get revenge on Axel and Larxene at the same time.

"Axel," he said, knowing the red-headed pyro would say dare. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course, Lumphead," Axel said, giving him a "duh" look and rolling his eyes.

Xaldin's lips twitched into a small smile. "I dare you, to kiss Larxene. On the lips. With some tongue." He kept adding to the horror of the dare, smiling at the reaction he got, knowing he was going to be getting his sweet revenge.

Axel and Larxene's jaws dropped as they glared at Xaldin in disbelief. "NO WAY!" they both yelled in unison.

"Too bad, you said dare!" Xaldin said, imitating Demyx's sing-song voice.

"Yeah, but I thought we agreed that there would be no making out!" Larxene protested, crossing her arms.

"Um, no... actually, I was the only one that had to promise to not make out with anybody," Demyx said.

_Shit. There's no way to avoid this._ Axel and Larxene thought.

So, instead of looking like a chicken, Axel walked quickly over to Larxene. He shoved himself up against her, pushing her into the wall, and placed his lips on hers. He then started frenching her, and Larxene's eyes widened in surprise and disgust. She started pounding him on his back with her fist as her other hand reach for her spork. But before she was able to attack, Axel reluctantly pulled himself off of her, wiping his lips with his sleeve, Larxene doing the same.

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Larxene said as she ran into the bathroom. She pulled out her fixed, duct-taped spork and gagged herself with it. She then walked out of the bathroom, the taste of Axel somewhat removed from her mouth, and sat down in the circle again. "That... was THE most disgusting thing I've ever had to do," She said, wiping her tongue off with her sleeve some more.

"I think I'm done playing," Axel said, feeling sick as well from the kiss.

"Yeah, it's gonna be past my bedtime soon," Demyx said, looking up at the clock which showed that it was 8:45. "Yep, 15 minutes til nighty night time." Demyx yawned.

Zexion sighed in relief at not being dared.

And with that they all retreated to their rooms and went to bed.

* * *

Author's Note: ok, good, a longer chapter. Hope you liked! yeah... crappy ending i know. I just couldn't think of a good way to end it xD. Review please! 


	3. Christmas Eve

Wow. I'm sorry for all the hyphens! I counted them all and there were 68 of them, give or take a few, in the second chapter. I was reading it over and I didn't realize I had that many. Sorry if they annoyed you

Anyway, I'm gonna start off the holidays with none other than... Christmas! I'm starting with that cuz it's my favorite holiday. Then, I'll have Christmas Day, New year's eve, new years day, and so on. So, I'll go through the year in the order of the holidays' dates. So here we go!

**What to expect in this chapter (AKA spoilers):** fires, Vexen raps, cookie baking, and Christmas wishes. Teehee

* * *

Christmas Eve 

"Damn, it's fricking freezing in here!" Xaldin bitched as he shoved a fuzzy pink winter hat on his bald head. "Maybe I wouldn't be cold if I didn't have to shave my head," he continued as he glared at Xigbar with his squinty-eyed-trying-way-too-hard-to-look-intimidating-death-glare (TM) again which only made the old man burst out laughing.

"Never try that again when you're wearing Marluxia's hat," Xigbar said, wiping a tear from his eye (the one without the eyepatch) and laughing still.

"What, someone's wearing my hat?" Marluxia said as he spun around, his attention brought to it from the mentioning of his name. "Give me that back, Lumphead!" the pink-haired-flower-obsessed-pansy-man snarled as he snatched the hat off of Xaldin. "You'll crush the flower on it..." Marluxia whined. "And besides, I'm wearing the matching scarf and gloves," he pointed out as he gestured to the fuzzy pink, flowery scarf and gloves he was wearing.

"Fine then! I hate you all! Axel!" Xaldin called to the pyro that was currently trying to put up their Christmas tree. "Get your ass over here and light the fireplace!" Xaldin yelled angrily.

"NO! We can't do that! I just swept the chimney for Santa! We can't have him getting all dirty!" Demyx pouted.

"You still believe in Santa?" Larxene jeered. "You're more of a baby than I thought!"

"I hope that Santa doesn't give you anything bitch!" Demyx said angrily.

"Oh! You want a piece of me? Huh huh? Do ya?" Larxene said as she brandished her spork again. "Prepare to have a can of whoop-ass opened up on your... ass!"

"Will you two just shut up? I can't concentrate when you guys are fighting!" Xemnas yelled from the kitchen as he was trying to read recipes and make sure they had everything to make their Christmas feast.

"Yeah, well she started it," Demyx started yelling at Larxene again.

"Ok, you know what? You guys can cook your own dinner!" Xemnas yelled as he ran up to his room to sulk in his tanning bed some more.

"He's gonna get skin cancer," Larxene said as she grimaced and wrinkled her nose.

"What the-" Axel mumbled as he was trying to hook the Christmas tree branches into the slots on the tree post thing. "Damn it! I knew we should've bought a real tree! But NO, our master Mansex is a cheapass..." He said as he almost snapped the branch he was forcing into the hole. "DAMN! Fricking tree!" Axel said, starting to get REALLY mad. Just then there was a loud FWOOSH sound, a yell, and the scent of burning artificial pine needles.

"OH MY GOD!" Demyx yelled as he watched the half-put-up Christmas tree burst into flames.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared blankly at the ball of fire in the middle of the room that used to be their Christmas tree.

"Ahhh... warmth," Xaldin said as he scurried over to the flaming tree and held out his hands to warm himself up.

"Pretty light..." Lexaeus said slowly as he stared drooling at the sight. "I want to touch it..." He said as he slowly moved forward, his gaze fixated on the fire, his eyes wide, looking much like a bug flying into a bug-zapper. "OUCHIE!...that...owie me," the big muscley-man yelled after he pulled his hand from the flame. "Oooooo...whats that..." the big galute said as something shiny caught his attention.

"Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright..." Xigbar started singing, lighting his lighter and waving it back and forth above his head, his body swaying, as he stared at the flaming Christmas tree.

"Damn you, Axel!" Demyx said. "You ruined Christmas! We don't have a tree anymore!"

"Well, boo-friggin-hoo," Axel said, happy he didn't have to continue putting up the tree anymore.

"I'll go get us a Christmas tree!" said Marluxia as he ran off somewhere.

"I guess I'll go cook the meal since Xemnas ran off to his tanning bed, and none of you are even going to offer to cook," Larxene said sighing.

"Oh, I guess I'll put out the fire," Axel said, forgetting about the blazing fire still burning strong. He went and found a fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

"...hehe...me play... music.." Lexaeus mumbled going over to turn on their CD player. "ON!" he yelled at the player. Nothing happened. "... (makes gurgling noises)...I says ON!" he said as he started jabbing the buttons on the CD player too hard, pounding it into pieces.

"Way to go you assfaced little shit! Now we don't have any music either!" Larxene said, walking out of the kitchen, holding a pot of... something that was bubbling as she was stirring it.

"Don't worry, homeslices, Vex-dog is in da howse!" Vexen said as he pulled out a microphone and started rapping. "...Uh, uh, uh.. yo it's Christmas here, spread yo cheer, the tree caught fire, by a red-headed liar, our cd player broke, by a dumbass bloke, Larxene's cookin up something vile, we'll probably be dead in a little while, Demyx is singin Christmas songs, Lexaeus is eating all my Ding Dongs, Xemnas is killing himself with artificial sun, Zexion looks so scared oh he's starting to run, Marluxia is finding a substitute tree, Roxas ain't here everyone can see, Xaldin's hitting Axel for putting out the flame, and poor Axel is crouching whimpering in pain, Xigbar is cracking up on the floor, Saix just came in through that door, he's looking at us all like we're really dumb, lighten up Saix we just having some fun!" Vexen then started beat-boxing into the microphone. "Buh, buhcheek, buh buh chi..."

"Oh yeah. Christmas is ruined," Demyx said as he put his face in his hands.

"Yooo hoo! Lookie what's here!" Marluxia said as he walked in with their substitute Christmas tree. "I was gonna put it up in my room, but since we need a tree, here it is!" he put the miniature, pink, rose-adorned artificial Christmas tree in the middle of the room and grabbed the burnt one and threw it out the 3rd story window.

A quiet "Ow my leg" was heard from outside.

"That's better!" Marluxia said proudly, ignoring the person outside and admiring his handiwork.

"Ok, guys dinner's done!" Larxene yelled from the dining room area. The table was set and a bowl of bubbling liquid was set on the table in front of each of their chairs.

"What the hell is this?" Axel said, looking at the thick bubbling goo with disgust as he scooped some on his spoon and tilted his spoon to let it run off, but instead the goo stuck to the spoon.

"It's an old family recipe!" Larxene said proudly as she stuffed her mouth with it.

Everyone scraped their goo out of their bowls and into their robe pockets.

"Mmmmmmm... ok now that we're all done eating let's make some cookies for Santa," Demyx said happily as he ran into the kitchen, pouring bags of sugar into a mixing bowl. "I have to make them and write my letter to him quick though! We have to be in bed before Santa comes!"

"Well, I'm going to go crawl into my nice warm bed. And plus, I've been around you freaks long enough for today," Xaldin sneered as he headed toward his room.

An hour later, after Demyx burned his first 3 batches of cookies and caught the oven on fire, nearly burning Castle Oblivion down to the ground, he finally had a batch of unburnt cookies and put them on a plate for Santa. "Ok, everyone! It's time to write Santa our note and tell him what we want!" Demyx said happily as he sat down at the head of the table to start writing the note. Everyone else grudgingly sat down at their places at the table.

_Dear Santa,_

_Hi! How are you! I really really really really really really want some new strings for my sitar. Axel broke mine. That bastard. Don't give him anything! Or Larxene! She's a bitch, but you probably already know that by now._

_Love always, _

_Demyx_

He slid the paper down to Larxene who added her note.

_Dear Fat-Jolly-Man-Who-I-Don't-Believe-Exists,_

_Demyx is such a baby. He still believes you exist. Well, if you want me to believe you exist, then give me a case of sporks._

_Then, maybe, just maybe, I'll believe you exist._

_-Larxene_

Next was Zexion.

_Dear Santa, _

_Please, shove a bottle of pills down my throat while I'm sleeping. I want to overdose in peace and get away from these people. Or, you can give me a ticket to go to that darkness beach place. I've always liked it there- it's dark, quiet, and lonely, like me._

_Your favorite moody, blue haired friend, (No, not Eeyore)_

_-Zexion_

He passed it off to Axel.

_Dear Santa,_

_I just want my friend Roxas to come home. He was supposed to be here by now. I hope he's alright. _

_-Axel_

Axel then slid the paper down to Vexen.

_Yo! Ma homie!_

_Wats up? I'm a'ight. Can you hook me up with a new stereo? I blew out my speakers from crankin up the volume too much._

_Catch ya lata! Peace_

_-Vexen_

Marluxia was the one that got the note next.

_Dear Santa,_

_I would just love to have a new bedding set. My old ones are getting a tad shabby. I would prefer pink blankets with a rose pattern. _

_-Marluxia_

_By the way, have you ever considered trading in your red suit for a pink one? Pink has a very good slimming effect. Not that you need it. _

Next was Luxord.

_Dear Santa,_

_I'd like a new earring. This one I won off someone, thinking it was real. Instead, it turned out to be a cheap dollar store one and it has turned my ear green._

_-Luxord_

Xigbar was next in line.

_Dear Santa,_

_I'd like a new robe. Larxene's nasty soup has hardened in my pockets and is letting off a putrid smell. It is very uncomfortable._

_-Xigbar_

Next was Saix.

_Dear Santa,_

_I want a Playstation 2. That way I'll have something to do when these imbeciles are trying to find something to do and I can get away from them._

_-Saix_

Lexaeus was last. Since he was such a big goof and didn't have a clue as to what they were doing, he just scribbled little marks all over and grinned to himself. "Hehe... pretty..." he mumbled.

"Ok, now everybody go to bed! Santa's gonna be coming soon!" Demyx said squealing with delight and trying not to wet himself from the excitement.

* * *

**And now, a little dialogue from the organization after they read through my story:**

Axel: (Bitch slaps Demyx) I didn't ruin Christmas you moron!

Demyx: Uhh... dance water dance!

Larxene: This is the Christmas episode Demyx

Demyx: Oh yeah, I mean, fall snow fall!

Lexaeus: (reads story) Why do you make me seem like such a complete and udder idiot in your story?

Me: ...You can read? And form a sentence?

Lexaeus: I hate you all!

Xaldin: Hey that's my line!

Xigbar: Shut up, Lumphead!

Xaldin: Yeah, and another thing, Miss Author Lady, my head isn't THAT lumpy

Me: Have you looked in a mirror lately?

Xemnas: And I do not sulk in my tanning bed! And why did you refer to me as mansex...?

Me: Oh shut up. Everyone knows you have an obsession to those bulbs in the tanning beds. And (giggles) you have to ask me why I call you that? (has laughing attack and falls out of fun spinny computer chair)

---a few minutes later---

Me: Phew, that was a good one, mansex! (wipes tears from eyes and gets back up into chair to type this)

Xemnas: Stop calling me that! (runs off to tanning bed)

Me: AHA! Your going to your tanning bed again aren't you? (Points finger accusedly at xemnas and smirks)

Everyone stares at me.

Me: What the hellare all you looking at? Now I commandeth you to all to go to bed! Or else Santa won't come

Demyx: You heard her! Now move it people!

* * *

Author's note: ahahaha.and the chapters keep getting longer.I hope you liked it. I don't think it was as funny as the 2nd chapter though... anyway, **review!** just press that little purple button down there. I know you can. Oh! and I got the 'mansex' thingfrom somebody's profile, I forget who's but they said that if you unscramble Xemnas you get mansex and I thought it was hilarious. So whoever that was, that's where I got it. And I got the "can of whoop-ass" thing from the movie "The Waterboy" starring Adam Sandler. Oh and I have a quote from the movie "Finding Nemo". The "I want to touch it" is from when Marlin and Dory were staring at the light, like how Lexaeus was. And the "ow my leg" was taken from Spongebob Squarepants- cuz there is this random guy that always yells that. Ok sorry for the long rambling, but I gotta give the credit to those people! 


	4. Christmas Day

Ok it's Christmas Day in Castle Oblivion!

Once again: thanks to my reviewers! keep 'em coming! you are the reason I update, so if you want me to update sooner (even tho I already update everyday practically xD), then send me reviews!

**Spoilers:** gifts, a wheelchair, and a Christmas party! woohoo!

* * *

Christmas Day

Demyx was the first one awake on Christmas day. He woke up at 5:30 in the morning and jumped straight out of bed and ran into everybody's room to wake them up. Well, everybody's room but Larxene's, because she would have attacked him with her Beautiful Yet Evil Devious Death Spork of Doom (TM). But, sadly for Zexion, Demyx woke him up, meaning Zexion still had to put up with these weirdos and Santa didn't overdose him in his sleep like he wanted. So, after running through the castle screaming like a crazed maniac on crack that escaped from the insane asylum, Demyx ran into the main room where their Christmas tree was. He saw a stack of presents surrounding the pink, rose-adorned Christmas tree.

"YAY! Prezzy-time!" Demyx said as he ran and dove onto the presents. "Fra-gi-lay?" Demyx said as he squinted and read the strange word on the box he landed on. "Whatever. That's Larxene's gift." He then got off the smashed present and started looking for his. "Yay! Here is is!" He yelled as he found a large box with his name on it. He attacked the wrapping paper and opened the box to find... a brand new sitar! Demyx was shocked. He then found a note in the box from Santa.

_Dear Demyx,_

_You have been such a good boy this year that I decided to give you a whole new sitar. And I figured your old one would be showing water damage soon._

_-Santa Claus_

_P.S. Thanks for the cookies_

"You're welcome, Santa!" Demyx said happily. Just then, all the other Organization members came walking into the room, unable to fall back asleep after Demyx woke them.

"What the hell happened to my box!" Larxene screeched as she found her damaged present.

"...I...uh... tripped on it..." Demyx said shifting his eyes.

"Shithead!" Larxene yelled at him, obviously very pissed off. She then opened up her box and found a case of sporks! But... wait... what the...NO! Larxene let out a screech in frustration, for all of her of her sporks were broken. "ASSWIPE!" she screamed at Demyx as she lunged at him with her fixed, duct-taped spork.

Demyx, seeing the psychotic, spork-crazed maniac flying at him, ran over and dove under the coffee table for a shield.

"Holy shit! Do you guys have to fight every single day?" Xemnas asked, annoyed, as he opened his present which turned out to be some tanning lotion.

Larxene stopped trying to claw out Demyx's eyes for a second as she looked over at Master Mansex, andgave a very calm and serious "Yes" before turning around to attack Demyx again, only to find out that he ran off somewhere. "Damn it! You made me lose him, Mansex!" she said angrily.

"Stop calling me that!" Xemnas replied, before running off to his tanning bed, taking his new suntan lotion with him.

"Hmm... going to his tanning bed already? That's pretty early. I think it's a new record," Larxene said to herself.

Everybody else opened their gifts.

"Sweet! Santa's my home-dog!" Vexen yelled as he unwrapped a large stereo system.

"Warmth! Yes! Thank you Santa!" Xaldin said as he shoved a thick fuzzy hat on his lumpy bald head.

Zexion found a small box_. Please be my ticket to the darkness beach! Please please please please..._ He thought as he ripped open the box. Inside was a note on top of a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of hair gel.

_Dear Zexion,_

_I'm sorry, but I can't give you an overdose or a ticket to the darkness beach. You don't belong in darkness anymore. But here's some shampoo and hair gel._

_-Santa Claus_

Zexion was gonna get mad, but then he smelled the shampoo. "Ooh, emo-berry scent!"

Everybody got what they wanted. Saix got his PS2, Xigbar got a new robe, Luxord got a diamond earring, Marluxia got his pink bed set with little roses all over them, and Lexaeus got a chew toy. Which was what he asked Santa for (cuz Santa can read his squiggle marks). So it seemed like everybody got what they wanted... everyone but Axel. There wasn't a gift for him.

Just then, there was the sound of rocks being thrown at their front door.

"What the hell?" Axel said as he got up and headed toward the door. "Probably just a bunch of goofy kids..." he grumbled. He opened the door to see... Roxas! In a wheelchair...? wtf? Yes indeed. Roxas was sitting in a wheelchair with his leg sticking out in a cast propped up on the foot rest.

"I was gonna knock, but I couldn't get my hand up to the door to, so I threw these rocks at it," Roxas said grinning.

"Roxas! I'm so glad you made it! But... why the hell are you in a wheelchair? Did you fall down those steps again?" Axel asked.

"No. I bit the mailman cuz I thought he was a wizard and he was putting a spell on me, so he chased me down and attacked me," Roxas said.

"Roxas, I told you not to do that anymo-" Axel started saying before he was cut off by Roxas.

"I was kidding, dumbass. Only Yuffie does that," Roxas said, staring at Axel with a 'you are the biggest moron to roam the darkness' look.

"Hehe, yeah you're right. Well, come inside!" Axel said as he moved out of the doorway so Roxas could wheel himself in.

"But, really, what happened to you?" Axel asked.

"WELL, _you guys _should know!" Roxas said accusingly as he entered the main room where everyone was.

Everyone just stared at him blankly, then everyone said, "Hey, Roxas! Why are you in a wheelchair?". (Well, everyone but Lexaeus, who just sat there drooling and chewing his chew toy.)

"Man you guys are dumbasses!" Roxas said. "One of you assholes threw you're burnt Christmas tree out the window and it landed on me! Didn't you guys hear me? I yelled 'Ow my leg!'" Roxas finished, pouting and looking extremely pissed off.

"Oh! Haha yeah that was me," Marluxia said, a glazed look overcoming his eyes as he thought back to when he did that.

"Ughhhh!" Roxas grunted like Lexaeus.

"It's ok, Roxas, I'll straighten out pansy-man later," Axel said to Roxas quietly so only Roxas heard him.

"Sounds good," Roxas grinned.

"Ok! Now that everybody is here, let's get this party started!" Axel yelled.

Vexen turned on his new stereo and started breakdancing.

"Go Vex-dog! Go Vex-Dog! It's your birthday! It's your birthday!" Everyone started chanting as they gathered in a circle around the breakdancing old man.

"Ow my hip!" he yelled after the song ended.

* * *

**And now a little word from the Organization (with guest stars!):**

me: ok everyone! places! and on the count of three. 1-2-3!

everyone: we wish you a Merry Christmas we wish you a Merry Christmas-

me: ok, cut cut cut! Sora, Riku, Kairi, Donald, and Goofy, what the hell are you guys doing here? You guys aren't in this story!

Sora: Well you said "everyone"

Me: Yeah everyone in this story!

Sora: Why aren't we in this story?

Me: Just cause. Now go away!

Sora: (pouts)

Me: oh don't worry Sora, I'll write more stories with you in them cuz you're so adorable

Sora: yay!

Riku: What about me?

Me: Yeah you too cuz you're sexy (winks)

Riku:that I am!

Kairi: and me?

Me: No cuzI hate you Kairi. I might write a Kairi-bashing fic tho...

Kairi: I hate you! (runs away)

Me: yay! she's gone

Donald and Goofy: what about us?

Me: oh, cause you guys are annoying. All you do is waste space in my story like you're doing now. So leave!

* * *

Author's Note: that was a lot shorter and not quite as funny. blah. sorry, I just haven't been thinking up all the funny randomness that was in Ch. 2. Anways, you know what I'm going to say... REVIEW! oh and the part where Roxas said he bit the mailman cuz he thought the mailman was a wizard and was putting a spell on him was from "The Confessions of Love" by Hooded Girl, in which Yuffie does that (which is why roxas says "only yuffie does that"). everyone should read that story if they like the Leon/Cloud pairing or just want to laugh at various things such as Aerith rolling down a steep hill in a trash can, Aerith and Yuffie getting stuck in a tree, and of course Yuffie biting the mailman and the mailman hunting them down and putting Aerith in a wheelchair :-p (To Hooded Girl: i hope you don't mind that i borrowed that! i thought it was hilarious so i put it in here xD) 


End file.
